Let the Counselling begin

Posted on Sat Dec 11th, 2021 @ 6:30pm by Lieutenant JG Eislyn Jortho & Lieutenant Commander Callie Raven-Grayson

Mission: Sinister Intentions
Location: Jortho’s office

Callie reached the counselling offices, but instead of going to her own office she made her way to Jortho’s office. Pressing the chime she waited for a call to enter before stepping inside. “I’m sorry to bother you Lieutenant, but I...need to talk.”

Eislyn was sitting at her desk reviewing the family information for all the children that had recently been rescued. Most had been reunited with family at this point, the child known as Harry the only one remaining on the Washington at this point, and he was being adopted by the Grayson's. Eislyn was putting the last bits into her files about them when the door chimed. She didn't have anyone on her schedule and wondered who it might be. She got up and went to the door and opened it, seeing Callie. "Ah, lieutenant, nice to see you." Eislyn could tell that something was on Callie's mind, and she assumed it wasn't necessarily good. "Please come in and have a seat."

Taking a seat Callie rubbed her hands together nervously. “Long story very short...I know what happened to me now, all of it.” She paused. “I wasn’t just mentally violated, I was physically violated as well...”

Eislyn sat opposite of Callie and listened. At first she was thrilled to hear that Callie had had a breakthrough, only to be shocked and dismayed to hear that things had suddenly become much worse. "I'm very sorry you learned this. Such a trauma would be devastating. How are you feeling?"

Callie sat rubbing her hands together nervously. “To be honest...I’m hurt, scared. No not scared! Terrified!!” She looked at Eislyn. “The memory is so fresh it’s like it happened yesterday. I find myself leaping out of my skin when the door chime rings, I get creeped out standing in the turbolift with male members of the crew! It’s crazy!!”

"Nobody could blame you for that. You are aware that those are perfectly normal things to feel after such a trauma. The road to recovery starts with admitting that the incident happened and then we can address the different aspects of it and allow you to heal. It won't happen overnight as you well know, but we can and will get you better."

Callie nodded. “I talked with Jon last night, ended up sobbing myself to sleep on his chest!” She hung her head. “I’m supposed to be the strong one, I’m responsible for the mental health of this crew! Yet I’m struggling with my own thoughts and feelings. I want to keep working, if I don’t I’ll go insane.”

"They say doctors make the worst patients, and that is true of counselors when it comes to mental health. You are, to coin a phrase, only human. Nobody expects you to be as cold and logical and mentally astute as a Vulcan. You have undergone a traumatic incident that has serious physical and mental hurdles that must now be dealt with. You will get through this, it will simply take time. You've already taken the first steps and made progress."

Callie nodded. “I know you’re right but it doesn’t make me feel much better. I want to hide behind my own little wall, pretend it’s all okay, but I know I can’t do that! What he...did to me, he did because he wanted to. To use me for his own ends, I don’t even know why he chose me! What was so special about me!?”

"You know we can't know that unless we find him, and even then we may never know. You can't focus him. You have to focus on what you can control, on yourself. Hiding behind a false front will solve nothing. Denial solves nothing. It will only cripple you emotionally and keep you his prisoner in your mind. You were violated, in a way most can't possibly grasp. It was a violation of everything you are. Seeing justice done will give you closure on this, but before you can hope for that, you must start the journey of healing yourself. You have those you love that will help you, your fellow shipmates will help you get through this, but you have to take the first steps, you have to want to get past this, to seek out normality."

Callie nodded as she sat back in her seat, pulled up her legs and rested her chin on her knees, allowing her insecurities to come to the surface. “So...where do I start? For anyone else I’d just tell them to take it a step at a time, but I don’t want to be viewed as a victim. I need to be strong, in control but...that’s not how I feel.”

"One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make it to think a victim shouldn't feel as they actually do. You feel like a victim because you are one. That doesn't diminish you in any way. We can all be victims given the right circumstances. The proper circumstances simply applied to you at the time of the incident. You survived, and because you did, you must accept that you have the strength to overcome the trauma that has been caused. Close your eyes and think on that. Is that something you can do?" Eislyn looked at Callie, gauging her every motion to get a feel for what was going on inside Callie.

Callie closed her eyes as instructed, concentrating on what she felt inside besides the fear of what had happened to her. Opening her eyes she nodded. “I can do that. I have to, I have a job to do here I’m not going to let the Captain down.”

Eislyn was somewhat intrigued by the response. "Why is your duty to the captain so important to you? I'm not saying it isn't mind you, only it seems a bit strange that you feel that your duty to him is of utmost importance in this situation rather than yourself or to your newly renewed and formed family."

“My family is important, they’re everything to me! As for the Captain...I’m new here Eislyn, in my first position as Chief Counsellor. If I don’t do my job then I’ll lose everything I have here!”

"I wouldn't concern yourself with that. You aren't going to lose your position just because you have a trauma that requires you to deal with it."

Callie nodded. “I worry a little too much sometimes. It’s the type of person I am. I do appreciate what you’re doing for me Eislyn. Thank you for all your help.”

"I understand that you don't want to be off duty. I respect that. But I think it is only proper that you be restricted to light duty for the next few days. Give yourself a chance to just heal. Our minds are no different than our bodies Callie, they need time to recover from any trauma."

Callie nodded. “I agree, my head feels like a lead balloon right now, as the saying goes. I could use the extra rest.”

"I suggest you go to your quarters and get the rest. See the medical staff for a sleep aid if necessary. I'll inform the bridge that you are light duty for the next 72 hours, effective immediately." Eislyn picked up a PaDD and typed up the order.

Callie nodded. “Yes ma’am“ she smiled as she stood ready to leave. “Thank you Eislyn.”

Eislyn watched as her superior exited and then contacted the bridge, informing the captain of this new development.