Let’s start healing

Posted on Wed Sep 3rd, 2025 @ 8:30pm by Commander Samantha Howard & Lieutenant Commander Callie Raven-Grayson

1,312 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Holding Pattern Hijinks
Location: Sickbay

With Sam back aboard ship Callie made her way to Sickbay to check on her friend, she could only imagine what Sam could have been put through especially if she had been dealing with the mirror verse Jon. Entering Sickbay she wasted no time in getting to her friend’s bedside.

Sam was curled on her side, her shoulder now healed but her eyes belayed any comfort in their depths. She had been deeply traumatised and wouldn't speak to anyone, keeping her eyes downcast and the blanket tucked tightly up to her chin.

Having organised for Sam to be put in a quiet room away from the hustle and bustle of main Sickbay, Callie stepped into the room, walking over to Sam’s bedside. “Hi Sam” she offered a calming, warm smile. “I thought I’d drop in and see how you’re doing.”

Sam raised her chin a little at the new voice, her mind still alive mess of deception and fear. Was this another of Jon's tricks to try and break her? Callie seemed really enough but she couldn't trust anything at this point.

"Did he send you?' She asked emotionlessly.

“No, he didn’t. He’s gone, but he had his own fun with me too aboard that ship.” Callie offered hoping to put Sam’s mind something at rest. “It’s truly me Sam, I’m here for you like you’ve always been there for me.”

There was still a modicum of hesitation, but also a glimmer of desperation. "Thank you" Sam managed, reaching a hand out towards Callie.

Callie gently took hold of Sam’s hand, offering calm reassurance as best as she could. “Are you up to telling me about what happened to you?”

Sam sucked in a breath, frightened of reliving the trauma again but knowing she had to in order to begin healing. After a moment she nodded, hands shaking as she did so. " I think so"

Callie looked around. “Hang on let me grab a seat.” She let go of Sam’s hand just briefly to pull up a small stool before gently holding onto her hand again. “Okay, just take your time, tell me what you can there’s no rush to do it all at once.”

Sam uncoiled herself and set up, setting the biobed to support her in a more inclined position. Her fingers dug into the blanket as she tried to sort through what had happened in her mind. "He took me from the Bridge, and made me wear this...slave outfit, with handcuffs and a collar around my neck. When I refused he would punish me." She started shakily.

Callie nodded memories of her own experience coming to mind. “I understand, you’re doing great just take it slowly. There’s no rush.”

Her hands moved to where the collar had sat to tightly against her skin, marking the delicate flesh. "He paraded me like a sick animal through his ship, then took me to a room. There was a contraption designed for torture. He took great joy in making me suffer" tears began to roll down her face "I couldn't even try and stop him, every time I thought I could he used a pain stick on me where he knew it hurt the most. I couldn't even escape it"

Callie nodded, reaching for some nearby tissues she’d thought to bring with her. “Here you go” she placed them where Sam could reach them. “I’m sorry, that… man, took great pleasure in making people suffer. What he did to you, isn’t going to be easy to get over Sam, but I’m going to be right here with you helping you through it.”

Sam's shoulder shuddered as she tried to steady her breathing. "He tied me to this machine, it stretched my body so much my shoulder dislocated and my ligaments are damaged. Then the pain stick came back. Then he started the water. Hours of drips, slowly, it felt like it was drilling into my skull" Sam finished, letting out another shaky breath. It was out, everything they had done to her. What she couldn't explain is why she still felt so frightened.

“I understand how you’re feeling, hell I can feel it.” Callie offered a comforting smile. “You’re not going to have to face that anymore Sam, the after effects of what he did to you aren’t going to disappear overnight it’s going to take time. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, but try not to let it control you. You’re stronger than you know Sam, and if we let what’s happened to us control us, then he’s won already.”

Sam nodded and looked down at the sheets covering her legs. She felt ashamed, frightened and weak, anything other than the strong capable CMO she used to be. "Will I ever get back to normal?" She asked quietly.

“Of course you will Sam, I know it doesn’t feel like it now but trust me you’ll get there” Callie offered a caring smile. “We’re all here for one another, when you feel ready take it a step at a time and don’t rush it.”

Sam nodded and blew her nose on the tissues Callie had brought in, trying to compose herself in front of her friend. "So...when can I get out of here? Its not making me feel any better being cooped up in here. The team keep giving me pity looks"

Callie nodded. “I understand Sam, do you have anyone you could stay with? Just someone to keep you company for a few days? Save you being alone?”

Sam shook her head, she'd always been a bit of a loner during postings, never really forming strong relationships and keeping her head in her career. "I don't really, never really have had anyone i could truly rely on" she said sadly.

Callie nodded. “I would prefer that you aren’t alone, though I could check in on you from time to time. Either that or you’re welcome to our couch if you want it?”

"I don't want to impose on you or Jon, I'll be okay on my own" Sam tried to put on a confident expression but knowing Callie would probably see through it. "I appreciate the offer though"

Callie nodded not wanting to pressure Sam into anything. “Both you and I know that’s not entirely true.” She offered a warm smile. “I won’t pressure you into what you don’t want to do, but the offer is always there. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to come and ask for help, or company.”

"Thanks Callie, I really appreciate it. If I'm struggling being alone I'll be sure to call you" Sam started to withdraw again, feeling as though she didn't deserve such kindness. "I don't want to take up any more of your time..."

“You’re not taking up my time Sam” Callie offered warmly. “It’s just as good for me to be here with you, as it is for you to be able to talk about things.”

Sam nodded and fiddled with her blankets. She felt broken, a shadow of her former self. If the mirror Jon wanted to break her mind, he had achieved his goal. Her eyes were still haunted and dark, and she felt fear with every normal interaction.

“It’s normal to feel afraid Sam, don’t let it drive you to hide away.” Callie offered gently. “The only one who can truly help you, is you. If you let the fear control you, then he wins.”

Sam attempted a smile, it flashed for a moment before dying completely. It wasn't much, but it was a start, together they would rebuild her shattered psyche and begin anew.

 

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