Report to Starfleet Command: Scientific Analysis on Nordic and Celtic Entities

Posted on Sun Jan 14th, 2024 @ 8:49pm by Lieutenant Inara Senn

From: Inara Senn, USS Washington, Chief Science Officer
To: Starfleet Command, Whom it may concern
Subj: Nordic and Celtic Entities, December Incident on the USS Washington.

So, let's begin. you know all those gods that mythology nuts go on about. Yeah they're real apparently and we've encountered some. here on the Washington. And they are quite powerful at that. And I'm going to say this once as an advisory. Do not attack one, no matter how much they piss you off. Our weapons cannot harm them, make no deals with them whatsoever. They all have an agenda of some kind and they're all here for their own self-serving desires.

Hela

Hela, or the Norse God of Death, is a puzzle even for me. I cannot figure out if she is some kind of insidious evil or a intollerable prankster, as she's the daughter of Loki. Apparently the Asst. Chief Medical Officer made some kind of deal with Hela. Her dead daughter, for a debt 'a pound of flesh' in the future. Apparently Hela fertilized her and then returned to collect the infants. This is the most sick, the most twisted thing, I've ever heard.That and she's an insufferable nuisence.

Morrigan

During the time Hela was making a mess of things, Morrigan, the Celtic Goddess of Doom, Death, and Victory shows up, She also has a role to play in fate. And we don't really know why she was here, as her reasonings are kinda.. Unclear. The only thing she did was to tell us how doomed our efforts to protect Dr. T'ghann-Travis' children were. Strange enough, while I was resisting Hela, she actually defended me, but she did nothing to keep Hela from stealing babies out of people's wombs. Apparently these entities have a morality that I cannot even grasp. That is a good thing because Federation morality prohibits sealing infants out of people's wombs, regardless of the justification. My feelings are mixed when it comes to Morrigan. I know she's trying to do good, but something tells me she wanted to stop Hela. But couldn't.

Brigid

I know she was here, for some reason.. But I'm not entirely sure why.. All I can say was she was here, and she genuinely tried to help. Something has been eating me up, and I know that one of these entities... helped me... or made sure something worse didn't happen. I don't know.. I feel like, I've been freed from something, that has kept me.. enraged.. upset.. Ugh the last few days has been wading through a pile of excrement. Or shit. If you gentlemen want me to be more professional on these reports, you can always talk to my captain. Right now I need a coke.

Another strange note. A strange picutre appeared in my quarters.. I look at it and... I feel hopeful. Like I know this woman.. She's important to me.. I don't know her name but.. Her smile... This painting. It's like she's looking at me and telling me everything will be alright. Why am I saying this in a report to Starfleet Command. I should remain professional.

So, my recommendations when dealing with these entites are as follows.

1. They are egotistical, apathetic, superior smart asses. With omnipotent powers. Don't piss them off, for god's sakes.
2. DO NOT MAKE DEALS WITH THEM!!!!!! You're going to be pulled into their intrigues, and you don't want that.
3. If they're being annoying, ignore them until they go away.
4. They can really do anything they want.
5. Always remember, They look down on us like we're all a species of gorilla, and even Hela herself admitted they view reality as a big 'long running gag.' Nothing we say or do has any bearing on them in the long term. We have nothing they want, we cannot send a fleet to obliterate them. So negotiation is utterly futile. If Hela shows up trying to bug you. Ignore her until she looses interest in you and goes away. Otherwise you are in for a world of shit.
6. I need leave. Pacifica sounds nice.
7. Yeah, this report isn't on the professional side, it's because it was hard to be professional for the last four days, suddenly I have Starfleet bitching to me about reports. I'll send a more professional report as soon as my head stops pounding.