Venting to Myself

Posted on Sun Apr 27th, 2025 @ 4:51pm by Lieutenant JG James Phoenix

331 words; about a 2 minute read

"Personal log Stardate 63889.3.

I don't know where to start. I was hesitant to even bring this up in a log, but Counselor Jortho gave me the recommendation to vent to myself more. She says rambling can help me talk myself into deeper matters. I've decided to take her up on that advice, so here I am.

She has cleared me for duty. Today was my first day back and things were rather mundane but I expected that given the first day back was supposed to be light. Counselor's orders.

Doctors Howard and Del Rio patched me up well and cleared me for duty on the physical side of things, which I am recovering well physically. There's just lasting growing pains but it isn't anything that I'm not used to.

My mental health is a different story. I feel good enough to carry out my duties as an officer, but the events on the planet left a mark on me both because of the severity and how familiar they were to the mirror universe.

I wasn't the only one to be affected. Kate bled out on the transporter pad due to her organs being harvested and if sickbay took a second longer she'd be dead but Lieutenant Hillis had to witness the whole thing. Apparently Callie had a whole mental battle being a half Betazoid. Jon and Seth got a similar amount of pain.

My point exactly? I feel like this could have been avoided. There were clear signs that this people were Nazi descendants, yet we continued on. We should have turned back damnit!" He shouted as he chucked a PADD across the room in anger before taking a breath.

James sighed. "It's not the team's fault. We did everything to protocol and if we ran it wouldn't have been right. We aren't cowards and we would have been intercepted anyway. Perhaps I'm just looking for an excuse to be angry" he vented before tapping a button to end the log.

 

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