These Dreams

Posted on Sat Sep 27th, 2025 @ 11:30pm by Lieutenant Ashlynn Regan & Lieutenant JG James Phoenix

815 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Holding Pattern Hijinks
Location: Ten Forward
Timeline: Current

Ashlynn sauntered down the corridor of deck ten. It was late and she was tired. She couldn't sleep. The dreams came back. She had gotten so good at compartmentalizing before the Terran Incident. It somehow triggered any of her trauma from the past to be front and center even though it didn't have the worst impact on her alone. She thought transferring to the Washington and being close to James would help with this. It hadn't yet, but in time she would improve even if she didn't see it.

She was also being stubborn. She needed to talk to someone. The new counselor was an option, but she figured she was still busy helping the Chief Counselor with the crew. Everyone had been affected including Ash, but she didn't want to bombard her with even more, even though she still had her routine medical and counseling evaluations. Her other option was James, but she didn't want to burden him since he had his own trauma from the past few months.

Ash eventually entered the lounge. She entered so distracted and so fast that she didn't see James, who was sitting in the back corner of the room. He did see her however.

James still knew her as well as he used to. She was usually calm, cool, and collected. Hell, even if things were going up in flames she was still one of the most level headed people in the room. He had only seen her like this a few times before, all of which took place before Alpha Three. He knew that she'd probably been like this after, but obviously he hadn't seen her like this in centuries. The point was that something was wrong. This was her tell.

"Hey sleepyhead" he called out with a smirk.

She jumped as she was about to pour herself a drink. She turned to look at him. "Funny."

He stood up and moved close to her as she finished making her drink. "Can't sleep either?"

Ash shook her head before taking a sip of her drink. "What's keeping you up?"

"Temperature control is off. Was keeping me from sleeping. No dreams this time."

She looked at him and smiled before turning back to face her drink.

He raised an eyebrown. Her avoidant gaze was the confirmation. James moved a bit closer. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

She continued looking at the drink. "Why would anything be wrong?" she asked rhetorically, her voice gloomy.

"Your voice is gloomy. You're trying not to look at me which is rare, but it usually means that you don't want me to see your face. You walked in here rather quickly without scanning the room, which you always do."

"So you think you know me" she snapped fiercely.

James stepped back. "I don't think I know you Ash. I do know you."

She looked at him dead in the eye now. Her eyes were glassy. The final tell. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's okay" he said softly. "Come here."

Ash pushed herself into James' arms and started breaking down.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm here" he planted a kiss on her forehead. "You're safe."

He held her in his warm embrace for a few more minutes before she pulled away. She wiped a tear away. "I wish you didn't see me like this."

James raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to hide your feelings around me Ash."

"I know, but-"

"No buts" he interjected before placing a comforting hand on her arm. "After we came for the Saber, you said that I was still your ride or die. That never changed and guess what?"

"What?"

"You're still my ride or die Ash. I'm not a counselor, but I can still be a shoulder to lean on when you need one. Let me hold you when you're sad. Hype you up in your worst moments. I'm still your best friend. That never changed."

The tears were gone. She smiled sadly before hugging him again. "Thanks. I needed that."

"I'm here anytime you need me" he whispered.

"Thanks" she said before pulling away. "I'm not ready to talk though.

He nodded. "That's okay. Just don't bottle it up forever."

"Didn't I say something like that to you once?"

James smirked. "I learn from the best."

She laughed. "Yeah I am."

James smiled. She was back. "By the way, I heard through the grapevine that you met Inara. How did that go?"

"It didn't. Commander Celes brought me and Phlox to report into her, but she felt it was best to demote or transfer us."

Phoenix cackled. "Classic Inara" he fell serious for a second. "I hope that isn't what's bothering you?"

She shook her head. "No. I've dealt with those types before, and honestly, it's a breath of fresh air. I'll tell you eventually."

"I know. Only when you're ready" he gave a comforting smile.

 

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