*BACKPOST* Rebuild

Posted on Fri Nov 12th, 2021 @ 10:18pm by Commander Samantha Howard & Lieutenant Commander Shoniara T’ghann-Travis Dr

Mission: Breen in Paradise
Location: Sam's Quarters
Timeline: Before the away mission

She'd slept for most of the day, dozing in between eating the occasional light meal then returning to the couch with the intention to read but ending up yet again falling into a dreamless sleep. Her mind and body were exhausted and still recovering from the trauma of the last few days.

She had forgotten that Dex would be dropping by after dinner and was currently snoring lightly on the lounge when the door chime rang.

Shoniara entered and was glad to see Sam had been sleeping.
“How have you been today, I can see you have slept but have you eaten?” She waited for Sam to invite her in.

" Hrmm what?" Sam mumbled as she woke fully, bleery eyes taking in the impecably presented Vulcan before her. It took a few moments for the question to sink in " Umm yes I've had something to eat"

“Do you mind If I run a bio and neural scan on you?”

" Sure, My brain is hereby your responsibility, do what you need to do" She held still as the ACMO ran whatever tests she deemed necessary.

“Your bio scan looks good, you still need to eat more to enable your energy to rise. Your neural activity has risen a little. Have you dreamed today?”

Sam pondered the question. Had she had dreams? She didn't normally remember her dreams but her sleep had been the same as it had been before she had melded with Dex. " Ummm I think so, I don't really remember any of them though" She admitted.

“Now your first lesson in Vulcan meditation. It may be difficult for you at first but do not be discouraged. I promise you you will gain order of vision and peace by doing so. In order to meditate fully one should take a comfortable position on the floor.” She sat down cross legged on the floor. “Please Sam sit down as comfortably as you can?”

Sam eased herself down to the floor, cursing her inflexibility as her hips protested at the movement. She had a gut feeling a long with meditation she was going to have to start stretching more.

Once Sam was seated Puss sauntered over to her lying on the floor with his head on her thigh. Dex sought out from the pack she had brought her plain blue jar which she used to meditate.
“ I will lend you my K’jar’ah, this can be a vase, jar, bowl, teapot anything you want but it must have a connection to you. She placed the K’jar’ah on a silken cloth shot through with gold and scarlet thread in elaborate decoration. “This honours the K’jar’ah. These colors are those of the Vulcan house of O’kaan.” She glanced at Sam. “You do not need this unless you want to do so.

“So the the aim of this is to concentrate firstly your vision and then your thoughts on the flame. The idea of the herbs is to infuse your Katra, increasing a feeling of well-being. “ computer reduce lighting 100 per cent”. The lights went out leaving impossible blackness in the small space. Dex lit the lamp which she had previously filled with herbs. The sweet slightly acrid smell began to fill the air immediately. “ Breath deeply and at first concentrate on your breath, breathing should slow down and become abdominal.”

Sam let her mind soften, casting her eyes on the flame and allowing herself to be drawn inward. As her muscles relaxed as did her breathing, her mind following again.

She opened her eyes and looked at Sam. Sam appeared to have her eyes closed and as far as she could make out was following her instructions. She carried on “ Let your current thoughts slip away, and if external thoughts enter do not suppress them but let them flow away, arising and disappearing like soft waves upon the shore. Try not to concentrate on these thoughts but observe them. Watch them without emotions and evaluation. Cut off associative chains and return your mind to one point, mindedness ... breathing.”

Dex spoke softly and evenly her voice still managing to pervade into the dark corners of the room. “In the end you should be able to just sit. Letting go of everything. Your mind now clear, rested, and ready. Then we will begin to explore each other’s thoughts and our own that are connected to our meld. In a few minutes the flame will go out and I want you to be still, feel Puss resting on your leg, soothing your mind, sifting from it the impurities that cloud your vision.”

Sam followed the instructions as best she could, sitting quietly and trying not to get caught up in her thoughts. It was an activity she hadn't practiced in many many years and found it difficult at first, however with practice it would soon become second nature.

“Computer reintroduce illumination at fifty per cent.” The lights came on. “What we are hoping to achieve by these sessions is control, clarity of thought and harmony. Although time consuming this is the easy part. Do not be afraid of it Sam, I knew nothing about meditation and it took me six months in the monastery of D’jara in the foothills of Mount Selaya on Vulcan. My Riasan half rebelled against it, felt that it was too constraining but in the end there was…..freedom, clarity and rest.

" So it will get easier? Sometimes I feel my brain works so fast with so many different things going on I can't keep track of it" Sam replied dejectedly, not entirely convinced it would work.

“Do not be disillusioned if it doesn't work straight away. The fact that you thought about it for a second will have made a difference, made your mind a bit clearer, and provided a little less entropy in this universe. I want you to try this yourself after I leave. Puss will stay with you tonight.

" What about you though? You've still got a lot to work through" Sam cast her eyes at her friend cautiously. She still felt uncomfortable having the large creature around.

“What I would like you to to do is think of an emotion that is with you most of the time, good or bad, be in anger, boredom, excitement, love…you know what I mean. You will tell me at our next session . I will clear you for duty tomorrow, which I know that is what you wanted but at any sign of problems I will again relieve you of duty. I know this has been a lot to take in, do you have any questions?”

" Umm I don't think so" Howard stammered as Puss snuggled in close. "I'm relieved I can return to sickbay tomorrow, I don't think I want to be alone with my own thoughts too much more. " She admitted sadly, shaking her head a little " It's still a little messed up in there"

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight, I can sleep on the couch? We could have dinner and talk or just be quiet ?” Dex took Sam’s hand, it felt smooth and warm. “I don’t want you trying to meditate on your own as I think you need more direction.” She sat down on the couch without asking. “Can I ask you a question….What do you think of the Captain, what sort of man is he? He seems very closed off typically Andorian..does he have a….” She cut herself off and stood. “Never mind.

Sam mused over the question, she had known the Captain for several years now and had served under him for the same extent of time. Whilst personally she had never thought ill of him, she also hadn't spent much personal time with him either. He carried the detachment of command very well.

"I believe he keeps a certain.. distance that comes with Command" She started, considering the interactions she had had with the CO. "And he likes things done right, by the book, but what captain doesn't?" The rest of the statement was more rhetorical. "What is your insight though?"

“He seems to keep very much to himself, as you say a certain distance comes with Command but, as a Starship Captain I would have expected a little more familiarity with his crew maybe a little more….encouragement. I must say I find him fascinating.”

"As for staying the night, I think I'll be ok, I promise not to attempt to meditate without your assistance, and I'll call if feel anything wrong" Sam said sheepishly, feeling a little tired and worn. She had been cleared for duty the next day and looked forward to getting back to the job that she loved.

Dex sighed with relief, she was tired. She stood. “Very well, I will leave you Puss and my lamp in case you need it. Please bring him back with you in the morning. Report immediately if you have any nightmares though or any other problems and I will see you at 08.00.” Suddenly she could not wait to get out of Sam’s quarters and to be on her own. “Goodnight Sam” she said as she headed for the door.