{Backpost} The Shadow and the Darkness of one's Heart.

Posted on Tue Jul 2nd, 2024 @ 4:44am by Lieutenant Commander Callie Raven-Grayson & Lieutenant Inara Senn

Mission: The Andromeda Strain
Location: Counselor's Office

Inara approached the counselor's office and pushed the door chime.

Sitting inside Callie was reading through the latest counselling and psychology updates from Starfleet. She looked up calling for whoever was outside to enter.

Inara entered and looked at the Counselor. "Psychology... How amusing." She noted. "I'm having what many would describe as an existential crisis right now."

“Really?” Callie motioned to Inara to take a seat. “Sit down and tell me all about it. You have my undivided attention.”

"i've seen the face of gods, Counselor, she calls herself Hela. The norse goddess of the underworld. And then she and other gods... They did something to me... Tormented me.. The details are frusteratingly vague. But I do remember the pain." Inara noted. "And this is the gods we have in this existance, as they inflect pain... for their own pleasure. This is one messed up universe. You live, knowing death is at the end of the journey, and what do the gods do? I have no words to explain how fucked up they are." Inara mentioned. "I cannot believe people worshiped them." She mentioned."What a stupid thing to do."

“They call themselves gods, maybe they are compared to us” Callie offered a shrug of her shoulders. “To those who worship them they are gods, with their abilities it’s not surprising they’re worshipped as being gods.”

"They are superstitious morons." Inara noted. "Too quick to kneel at something they don't understand other than studying it. If we did sooner, we wouldn't be subject to the gods' hypocritical whims." Inara mentioned. "The Klingons had it right on theology. They are all more trouble than they are worth. What is the use of theology, than an emotional coping mechanism for challenges we are supposed to overcome? Science provides us with the means of ascension."

“Do you think of everything in such clinical terms Inara?” Callie gave her a curious look.

"I'm a scientist, Counselor." Inara noted. "One that is being tormented by Norse and celt gods."

Callie nodded. “Well there are no gods here now, and those we think of as gods are, more or less, just more advanced beings than us wouldn’t you say?”

"That depends on whether you believe a society of 'Gods' that engage in kidnapping is 'Advanced.'" Inara noted. "Far from it, they are barbarians."

“Maybe so Inara, maybe so” Callie nodded. “It’s not like we have the ability to stop them either.”

"Oh I intend to be alive the day the gods are sundered, Counselor." Inara mentioned. "One thing I know is that ill turns deserve another. And the Klingons had it right. Gods are more trouble than they are worth."

“To be honest gods aren’t my speciality. People talk to me about their religions, and beliefs but I’m no expert.” Callie offered a polite smile. “I’m here to listen, and to do what I can to help.”

She shook her head. "Psychology. A cave that echos your words. Only the words that come back are barely fortune cookie nonsense." Inara noted. "I guess we are at these entities mercy, and I shouldn't be suprised or enraged by their existence. I'll have to go on knowing that the more advanced peoples in this existence are mortal. and the less advanced... and enlightened... are gods. How does one do that?" Inara explained.

“There’s nothing to say that you shouldn’t be surprised or enraged Inara.” Callie offered an understanding gaze. “To be honest I’ve never really been a religious person, I believe miracles do happen, but that’s about as much as I believe. As for how you carry on...that depends on you. Do you want to dwell on what makes you angry and miserable? Or do you want to try and move on?”

"Turns out I always have something to be pissed about these days. If it's not your homeworld being invaded, it's the Norse Gods. And then the Captain just suddenly decides he's going to explore a post-nuclear tomb world. The most hostile environment imaginable." Inara noted. "Is he out of his damned andorian mind?"

“Inara we’re a Starfleet crew, and part of being Starfleet means you render assistance when you’re needed. The fact that this is less than an ideal world doesn’t mean we run away. The people down there need our help.” Callie offered Inara a calming smile. “If you feel you can’t face that then I can arrange some time off duty for you?”

"Unfortunately, I am not ready to end up in Hela's post-mortal hell just yet until I've figured out how to kill a god." Inara noted. "It used to be easier when I didn't know what was waiting for me after this life counselor. Now that I do. I have to find a way to level the field. 'Natual Unfairness of the Universe. I see it as a Declaration of War." She grabbed something. "And whatever component of creation that made us is an asshole that likes rat races, and I once thought there was a chance, a probability of ascension, now this game is rigged from the start. She tortured me!!! All ill deeds must have their reckoning. If there is no justice in this universe. They hurt me counselor. I will make sure there is a Reckoning!!! I hate them.. and I hate who made them."

“You don’t truly know what’s waiting for you Inara” Callie was worried she was losing control of the situation, she needed to get it back. “Hela could have been playing with your mind for the very reason, to drive you crazy! We make our own destiny with every little thing that we do, day in and day out. Don’t let her win Inara!”

"How can I not. She simply took a woman's child at a whim. Gods they may be, but I say the are primitive in virtue. And DEFINATELY not to be worshiped in ANY WAY." Inara shouted. "We should burn the churches, burn the cathedrals, burn the priests, and burn the holy books. That will send a message to them." She collapsed on the couch and started sobbing. "Why does it have to be so painful."

“I know it’s hard Inara” Callie offered a kind gaze. “whatever Hela showed you it’s not written in stone! You decide your destiny, not her! If you don’t want to believe in gods then don’t, but don’t force your views onto others, it would make you as bad as those you despise so much.”

"They are all hypocrites... all of them. How dare they judge us when they have no idea what it is to be mortal." Inara noted."I'd take a god that was mortal.. over a doomsayer, a demon, and a patronizer." She noted still shedding tears.

“Maybe they are Inara, that’s what makes us better. Don’t let them bring you down, be strong! Show them what we mortal’s are capable of! Prove them wrong!” Callie offered a smile.

"I'm not in the business of proving anything to them. They will not listen." Inara mentioned.

“Probably true” Callie nodded. “Then don’t let them win. Don’t let them break you, be stronger.”

"I've been such a fool." Inara mentioned. "A fool of fools."

“No, you’ve been a normal person expecting more of those who should act better.” Callie offered an understanding smile. “You’re no fool, not at all.

"Maybe I should take some shore leave soon." Inara noted. "Clear my head."

“That sounds like a very good idea” Callie nodded and smiled. “Get some rest and relaxation, it’ll do you good.”

"Good, I'm leaving my communicator behind, After this mission is over, I'd prefer not to be bothered for a good few weeks. And don't worry about where I'm going." Inara noted. "I'll decide when I get there."

“Fair enough!” Callie smiled. “Just keep in touch from time to time, let us know you’re alright okay?”

End