Wrestling with Demons

Posted on Wed Mar 22nd, 2023 @ 8:55pm by Captain Shran dh'Klar & Lieutenant JG Eislyn Jortho & Commander Samantha Howard

Mission: Living History
Location: USS Washington

Shran had spent the majority of the day speaking with admirals at Command, arranging times to meet with various groups, and having a preliminary meeting with Temporal Investigations, the latter being something he loathed. While he could handle all of that, he needed to discuss what had happened with Maddison. He did what was tactically correct, to protect his people he'd do it again, but he wasn't running black ops anymore, and compartmentalizing such things didn't come s easy as they once had.

He took time to speak to Eislyn about the situation, and they both agreed he needed to speak with those present regarding what had happened. Eislyn agreed to go with him and they left her office, making there way to Sam's quarters. As they approached the door he stopped and looked at Eislyn, "Is this the right time to do this?"

"You need to address it captain. We can visit others tomorrow as it is getting late, but you should at least start this process" Eislyn responded.

Shran nodded, and after hesitating just a few more moments he walked to the door and rang the chime.

Sam looked up as the door chime sounded, setting the glass down and heading towards the door. She scrubbed a sleeve across her eyes to rid her face of most of the tears. Her care factor at the moment was fairly low, off duty and somewhat traumatized from the recent experience. Standing on the inside of the door, she pressed the control.

"Captain...Counsellor. I, ahh, wasn't expecting company. Is something wrong, do you need medical attention? Dr Kurr is on duty if you do" Her expression was confused.

"I thought it important we talk..." Shran began, obviously a little hesitant. "We need to talk about what happened in sickbay. I am sure it isn't something you want to discuss, but I felt we should. I brought Eislyn for the counseling perspective, since she wasn't actually there she can be objective should she need to make any sort of diagnosis."

" I understand. Please, come in. I don't have any Andorian brandy, but I'm working my way through a bottle of good whisky and I'm happy to share" She offered as she stepped aside and allowed them into her darkened quarters. "Computer, lights to 50% and pause music playback"

"Nothing for me" Eislyn said softly.

"A glass sounds like a good idea. I'll have it straight up" Shran said as he made his way inside and walked towards the seating area. He took the offered drink and sat down. He took a sip of the drink and then got right to it, "I know what happened in sickbay wasn't easy for you. You and Shon both are doctors, and anyone being killed has to be difficult for you to handle."

Sam poured the drink and handed it over, resuming sipping her own. "I've not been struggling with the decision that you made, hell I even suggested it. My struggle as been with my lack of moral reaction to the whole idea. Maddison was evil, he was the most powerful telepath I have ever encounter and could by some miracle function even in deep statis. We couldn't allow him to live. I get that. Shon was angry, so so angry and betrayed. But I don't feel that." She tried to put her feelings into words. "Does that make me some kind of monster?"

"No, that doesn't make you a monster. It makes you human" Eislyn said gently.

Shran shook his head. "Honestly, you have seen a great deal more horror than Shon has. Her reaction might have seemed pointed considering she is Vulcan, but she has shown on several occasions that she doesn't have complete control like your average Vulcan." He once again took a sip from his glass, this time it was very pronounced and long before he looked at Sam once more. "That man was evil. He was a telepath of unbelievable power. You had done everything you could possibly do to restrain him, Deanna had given us critical information that made the decision by me the only tactically viable one. As we find ourselves all safe and sound on the ship back in our own time with no known alterations in the timeline, I'd say the right decision was made. If you feel that things are registering with you, I'd say you are viewing it not as a doctor, but as a StarFleet officer."

" I know what you...we...did was the right thing to do" Sam replied quietly. "Shon said I should have stopped you, because as a doctor I took an oath to do no harm. I get that was one of the reasons you shot him. Logically I understand it all, but emotionally things may take a little while to unravel. At least, as you say, we saved the future and the timeline has been restored. The fact we are sitting here discussing the issue speaks to that" She shrugged and took another sip before turning the uncomfortable discussion on its axis. "And yourself Captain, how are you dealing with everything...and everyone."

Shran sipped his drink. "I don't have the luxury of second guessing or dwelling on what happened. I'm the captain, I have to make decisions and live with the consequences. With the rank comes the responsibility. You are third in command, you understand that, which is why I know you will get past this. As for how I am dealing with the others, I am coming to speak to them, one at a time, starting with you. My gut told me that you were the one I should speak to first. My guess is Callie got worked up and likely forced Jon to go with her to speak with Deanna. Ayana is a tactical officer, she understands the situation and would have done the same thing if it was her place to do so. Shon is the wild card. I don't know if I'll have to deal with the logical Vulcan or the emotional Risian. I suppose I'll find out when I do speak with her, but that will wait until tomorrow." He once again took a long slow drag from his glass.

Eislyn had been sitting mostly quietly to this point, watching and listening. It was time for her to be a counselor. "I'm sure it is no surprise that the captain is stonewalling. You on the other hand doctor our dealing with this situation surprisingly well. I know you have emotions regarding what happened, and while you seem to have expressed some of them before we arrived, I sense you are suppressing those emotions at this moment. I don't think you are as calm and collected as you want to appear, though I think you aren't angry with the captain so much as you are with another, Dr. Shoniara." She looked at Sam with an openness that seemed to beg for Sam to answer, all while knowing that this was a safe space to speak.

"I'm just grappling with the duality, as a doctor I'm sworn to heal and protect life, as an officer I'm sworn to protect the crew above all else. My guess is Shon is coming at this more from a medical point of view. I see no other alternative to what the Captain did though" Sam blew out a breath as she regarded the Captain with a critical eye. She didn't envy the burden he carried nor the mantle with which he was supposed to carry it.

" As far as death's go, he had a good one, taken from this life whilst deeply in statis. No pain, no suffering, just...gone. I wish we could all be so lucky" She shrugged her shoulders. " I'll be fine though, a couple of shots of whisky and a good cry does wonders. " As for Shon, I should talk to her, I didn't appreciate the outburst in the middle of sickbay but I do understand why she did it" Concern for her fellow crewmates always spurned her into action and over-rode her own wallowing.

Eislyn smiled. "You have a good outlook on this situation. If I may, let me offer a perspective to you both regarding Maddison. I know what happened, and some view it as an execution. He may not actually be dead though. Both he and his companion were from the future, and they both disappeared rather than returning to their time period in some temporal wave that followed. It is entirely possible, perhaps even likely, that both of them returned to their future and are alive and well."

Shran considered what was being said. "You know, I hadn't thought of it in that way. but that actually makes sense. What we did had to happen to reset the timeline. I know that might not make what happened easier to handle for everyone, but that makes sense to me."

That was something Sam hadn't considered, and turned her perspective on the situation slightly around. If the timeline was restored and Maddison wasn't actually dead, does that mean he could try to travel back in time again? "What if he's not dead, and he tries to come back to that time period and screw things up again?" It was a massive hypothetical that no-one could actually answer.

"I don't think we have to worry about him going back in time again" Shran said in a confident tone. "I have a feeling that those in charge of such things in the future will ensure he is never in a position to do such things again. I've had enough dealings with time travel to know that much for certain." Shran finished his drink and rose from his seat, "I'll leave you now Sam, let you have your time to contemplate and rest. Temporal Investigations will want to talk with you for your report at some point tomorrow. Good night." With that he made his way out, Eislyn following.


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