Real Talk

Posted on Sun Jun 18th, 2023 @ 5:07pm by Captain Shran dh'Klar & Commander Jonathan Grayson

Mission: Writing the Q Cards
Location: USS Washington

Joe walked with Jeff as they entered the captain's ready room. "Be honest, how has this strange twist impacted you?"

Jeff waited until the ready room doors shut and the pair were alone. "Well, like you, I have military experience as well as law enforcement experience, so I'm not so shaken as Jan or Linds. As you know, expect the unexpected. What about you? How are you handling it?"

"Being a StarFleet officer is routine for me, just like you. I think I could even handle a battle situation if it came up. The one thing that is causing me issues is something I talked to Jan about. I miss my children of course, but that is something you deal with when deployed, so that isn't such a huge deal, though it isn't easy. No, my issue has to do with my pathological shyness around attractive females, which of course I have written several onto this ship. Not exactly something I like to admit. Makes me feel like I teenager honestly, and considering where we are, it is like being a teenager at a Star Trek convention." Joe gave a soft awkward chuckle and walked over to where the alcohol was located. "Care for a drink? I have quite a selection of Trek inspired beverages here."

Jeff nodded in understanding. "We do have several attractive women onboard." He readily agreed. "As for being shy? Why? Your the Captain. Your smart, you carry yourself well Are a good conversationalist on a variety of topics." Jeff stopped and grinned. "Sorry, sounds like I'm giving you a pep talk. Point don't be shy. Be yourself. Be Joe."

"Believe it or not that is Joe. I was always quiet and shy around women. Had plenty of female friends, very few romantic interests. Point in fact I only had two girlfriends my entire life, and I married the second one. I can lead men into battle, I can fight to the last against overwhelming odds, but I am like the French with the Germans invading around women." Joe chuckled. "You know, in a lot of ways, I dislike the 21st century that we live in. Everyone lives their lives online, no personal contact it seems. I am a huge antisocial introvert, and yet, I seem to be good and all the things I rail against. And irony of ironies, I suddenly find myself trapped on a ship of my own design with at least a half dozen females, also of my own design, and I'd prefer to be battling Klingons or Jem'Hadar rather than trying to be some suave guy."

Jeff listened in silence as Joe spoke of his shyness and his general dislike of the 21st century. When he had finished Jeff spoke. "I think your shyness around attractive women is a something all men deal with at some time. Some advice? Don't make a deal about talking to them. I don't mean here but when or if we get back to our time. I feel a lot like you about our time. Most people are so self-centered and totally involved in their own world and interests. They have no social skills and feel entitled for the simple fact they want it. Makes no difference to them if they studied or work for it. Just give it to them." Jeff smiled at Joe. "I'll see if I can find some Klingons or Jem'Hadar for us to fight. Might take our mind off this mess."

Joe chuckled as he poured two drinks. He turned and handed a glass to Jeff, "Saurian brandy. One of several Trek drinks I've always wanted to try. Here is to being here or back in our real life, may fortune shine upon us in either place."

Jeff took the offered glass. "Thank you." As he studied the contents. "I'm not a drinker but I do want to try this. It looks intoxicating." He clinked his glass against Joe's. "Amen brother, Amen." As he took a sip of the drink. A smile coming to his face. "Not bad, not bad at all. Good choice Joe."

Joe sipped the drink, it had a smoothness like the Scotch his father once drank. "It has a smoothness to it to be sure." He looked at the other bottles, three caught his eye. "I have to try the other three before we get sent back, but for now, I think this is enough. He raised his glass once more, "To Julia and Shon, may they find a cure to the plague."


"It is smooth to be sure. I think later before we're sent back, I'd like to try the Romulan Ale. Find out for myself what all the hoopla is about." He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "Probably going to be the only chance I'll get to try it." He raised his glass in response to Joe's. "If anyone can find a cure, those two can. No doubt in my mind."

"Agreed on both accounts." Joe finished his drink. "You know I tried Romulan ale once at a Star Trek convention, but it was just Sprite with blue food coloring. I suspect the real thing would have a substantially better kick."

Jeff made a face. Sprite with blue food coloring? "Oh yuck. I would certainly hope the real deal has more of a kick than that." Jeff shivers at the thought of blue colored Sprite. "Out of curiosity. How did it taste?"

Joe chuckled. "It wasn't bad. Keep in mind, I was 15 and it was my first convention. I have some great memories of that weekend. The IKF ran security and Robert O'Reilley was the celebrity panelist. It was my sophomore year of high school. You ever been to a convention or meet any of the Trek stars?"

Jeff shook his head from side to side. "No, I can't say I have. Have wanted to several times but there was always an issue. Too far away, was working, found out too late. However I do have a few autographs."

Joe nodded. "I understand. I have lots of autographs, most I got in person at conventions. Went to several while I was in high school, and thankfully in my early adulthood I had the opportunity to go to others, including a few overseas thanks to my military service. It isn't like it used to be though, they have really curtailed the convention circuit, turned them into things a lot like Comic Con in a few big cities and spread out to just a few times a year, which makes it difficult for your average fan to get the chance to go to them. The geek culture stuff became popular and the big suits in media decided to monetize the fandom, which of course ruined it for most of the fans. You know, I've dreamed of doing something like this for a long time. I dreamed of winning the lottery and getting all the crew together at a convention, give us a chance to actually meet in person and enjoy Star Trek in a different way than we do normally. I suppose this is just as good" he said with a chuckle.


"This is better." Jeff observed. "We get to see each other in the role we chose for ourselves. The roles we're the most comfortable with. Julia and Linds as dedicated doctors. Jan as a compassionate and concerned counselor. Phoenix as a highly skilled security officer and you as the unflappable and wise leader of the crew and me as well... me." He smiled, "Winning the lottery would be nice to be sure. But this is a hell of a consolation prize. Just would have been better if Q didn't have a hand in it."


"Such a harsh thing to say" a voice said from the sofa along the wall. Suddenly Q appeared. "You know this was all supposed to be fun, mostly for me, but you all as well. Certain things happened that have caused you all strain, but they were going to happen anyway, whether to you or your alter egos, so you really ought to stop blaming me."

"Do you have a justification for everything?" questioned Joe.

"For the record Q. I wasn't blaming you. I said you have a hand in this and you do." Jeff informed their visitor.

"For a human, you have a touch of wisdom. Not much, but you are only human" Q said looking at Jeff. "And yes, I do have a justification for everything. I'm Q."

"Why thank you Q, I'm glad you think so. I can sleep easier now." Jeff replied with a touch of sarcasm. "As for you having justification for what you do. I would say that depends on your point of view. Much like reasons and excuses. It depends on who is offering reasons and who is receiving them. Like this current situation. You say you have justification and I don't dispute that. It is just from out point of view we aren't privy to all the information and the big picture, so, it is difficult to see any justification."

"You aren't supposed to know everything, you are mortals. In a few millennia perhaps your species will evolve to a point where things are different, but for right now, you will just have to muddle about" Q replied.

"Great. Just the sort of thing I wanted to hear" Joe replied, his voice full of sarcasm.

"You humans are so silly at times" Q replied.

"Boy, is that ever the pot calling the kettle black." Jeff muttered at Q's statement.

"What an interesting colloquialism. Any other pearls you care to provide about our chat?" Q inquired.

Joe placed his hand on Jeff's shoulder to settle him, not wanting to have his XO give in to the obvious baited trap Q was providing. "Any particular reason you are here Q?"

"Just looking about. I believe somewhere on that planet of yours they call it a walkabout" Q replied.

"Talking t the wrong humans about walkabout. Julia would be the person to know all about it, seeing as she is Australian" Joe replied a bit smugly.

Jeff nodded his thanks to Joe and remained silent. Vowing to himself not to give Q a reason to taunt or mock him or the other crew members affected by his latest stunt. "You know the land down under Q." He said breaking his silence.

"Land down under? Are they a bunch of mole people?" Q questioned.

Joe couldn't help but chuckle. "It refers to Australia being in the Southern hemisphere, the first major settlement in the southern hemisphere by Europeans."

"Perhaps I will go see what is going on with the Julia then. See if she has learned her lesson and if she has figured out the solution to her problem" he said with a smile and then disappeared in a flash.

Joe looked at Jeff, "Well that went well."

"I suppose so." Jeff agreed. "He didn't turn us into mole people to exam."

"Thank God for small favors" Joe replied impishly.