The Personal Journal of Inara Senn. Entry 3 (On Paper)

Posted on Mon Jun 17th, 2024 @ 9:17pm by Lieutenant Inara Senn

What is a soldier?

A soldier does not fight for his or her people. Despite the propaganda. No, good soldiers obey orders. So in any Democratic Republic, the people elect their leaders, The leaders then command the armies, and of these armies, soldiers are preferable, warriors are not, and certainly not scientists.

I have had people pound 'yes, sir' into my skull, since Sarfleet Command, since the Dominion War. I am afraid I have lost what I once was. A scientist. In an agency that was supposed to have resolved its problems with diplomacy. But war, I dread it has changed us into something not worth fighting for.

I hate the very notion of a militarized starfleet. Our ships carry more firepower now, than they have for one century since the Khitomer Accords were signed. And yet the terrifying reality escapes some of these people's thoughts. If there's a threat, why not hand down orders to discard our principles for a quick Victory.

I can't shoot things anymore, Deanna told me to do it, I even did it on Hela when I got enraged enough." *Kicks something* I wonder if our taste for bloodshed has gone so unsatisfied, they're willing to shoot at something rather than study it.

I remember the war, but I don't want to. I remember how angry it was, and it felt good to kill. Months ago, it felt good to shoot Hela.. To unleash my wrath on a god. With no hope of victory.

So, I am not only a terrible Starfleet Officer. I'm not a good soldier. I keep on seeing its stupidity. Yet our leaders want soldiers. Never warriors.

Warriors have a code, that is inconvenient for the Machiavellian politics of authority. Where an individual with all his or her heart and soul..... Is seen as a component of the masses. I'm an exceptional scientist.

I may need to talk to Kate about how different it feels up the ladder of authority when one gets promoted.

End Entry.