The Misery of Suffering (part 2)

Posted on Fri Apr 29th, 2022 @ 5:26pm by Lieutenant Commander Shoniara T’ghann-Travis Dr & Lieutenant Commander Callie Raven-Grayson & Ensign Zack Ravencroft & Petty Officer 1st Class Amethyst Wyse

Mission: Jupiter Mystery
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: Post away team

Sickbay 12 hours later.

Ensign Zack Ravencroft was still sleeping soundly on his bio bed. His scans showing his brain activity was nil. No dreams, and the peace in which to return his body chemistry to normal. Dex checked his scans once again and decided that it was time for him to wake and for them all to face whatever music was going to play as the old saying went. She tapped her Comm.

=^= Travis to Counsellor Grayson, I am ready to wake our patient are you available or shall I wait?=^=

Callie had been waiting for Shon’s call. =^= It’s fine Doctor, I’ll be there shortly. =^=

Amethyst was back on shift after a well earned break, hearing Shon call Callie she made her way across to Zack’s bed to prepare for waking him up.

Walking into Sickbay a few minutes later Callie smiled as she greeted Amethyst and Shon. “Let’s hope our patient wakes up in a talkative mood.”

Zack’s blood pressure began to rise as the hypos Travis gave him began to take effect. His brainwaves began to change from the tall spiked rhythms of nondreaming sleep to the flatter waves of wakefulness. His heart rate and respirations began to increase.

Amethyst looked towards Travis. “He’s regaining consciousness Doctor”

Shon spoke to him quietly, “Zack, Ensign Ravencroft, it’s Dr Travis, Shoniara. You are in sickbay waking up Can you hear me?”

It felt like it had only been moments since he was put under, but his body felt like it had slept for too long. He was stiff and he groaned from it. "Doctor doctor..." Zack said slowly, the lights where shocking his system and he shot them again.

Shon turned the lights down so it was not so harsh. “How are you feeling Zack, do you remember what happened?”

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Of course I do. I don't appreciate being put under..."

“Because of the severity of your episode’ as your doctor I decided you needed to sleep, your body needed to rest. I have also taken you off duty until it has been decided you are not a danger to yourself and that your mental health improves. Also, Callie is here to help you. We, your friends are worried about you Zack.”

"Yeah. I haven't hurt anyone yet." He sighed, this was stupid to him. He didn't know why they wouldn't let him deal with it himself.

“Zach I have noted your depression has been getting worse, you have been isolating yourself from your crew mates and then destroying your quarters seems like a call for help to me.” She indicated Callie. “This is Counsellor Raven-Grayson whom I want you to begin seeing and you owe your thanks to Amethyst who found you after you wrecked your quarters.”

Amethyst offered a brief nod. “I heard noise from inside your quarters when I was passing. I had to check you were alright.”

Callie moved closer to Zack’s bedside. “Would you mind if we talked about what happened Zack?”

"I just need sleep." Zack said calmly. He wasn't happy to talk about his past.

Shon intervened. “Zack you are off duty until you at least try to connect with the Counsellor. The things you say you need have not been helping for a while. You need to start talking, please, as your friend try.”

Zack gave her a look of murder, his job was all he had left and now he didn't even have that, "Fine, but not here. I need to beat the frustration out of my system. She can join me while I work out if that is what it takes." he turned to Po1 Reece, she looked differently at him somehow, a look that felt very much like the women in his past had looked at him. Had she given up on him as well, he shouldn't be surprised by now. It still hurt.

Amethyst offered Zack a warmer smile. “If you want privacy you can use the nurses office, you won’t be interrupted I promise.” She looked towards Callie. “Would that be suitable Counsellor?”

Callie offered a smile. “That would be fine, but only once Zack is ready to talk.”

Zack looked at them. "No. I am going to work out, we can talk there. There will not be any sitting down or any of that." he was growing frustrated that had slipped past them.

Amethyst was growing frustrated with Zack’s attitude, in an uncharacteristic moment she glared in his direction. “Fine! Have it your way Ensign! It doesn’t matter who you hurt, or push away does it??” She took a deep breath and looked towards Shon. “My apologies Doctor, I will go and take a break for a few minutes.”

Zack didn't know what was wrong with her. Her anger told him that he had once again lost a potential relationship. That thought hit his chest hard and he gripped his side, feeling another attack coming on. This time it was from how he had made her feel, his anger towards himself.

Shon gave Amethyst a disappointed look. She understood the nurses frustration but her outburst would have a negative affect on him. She prepared a sedative hypo. “Why are you so angry?” She asked him.

What was it with these women, he had expressed his unwillingness to talk here and now. "I understand you want me to talk, but I want to work out and you can join me there and we can talk."

Callie nodded. “Very well Zack if that's what you want, and Doctor Travis agrees we’ll talk while you work out.”

Very well Ensign I will agree but I will be coming as well and I will be armed. Counsellor can I have a word with you?”
She walked into her office and waited.

Callie nodded. “Of course” She nodded to Zack and followed Shon. “Is there a problem Shon?”

“Are you sure you are happy about this, I am worried about you and the baby? Zack’s adrenals are spiking and I am worried about his anger towards himself. If it gets away from him I do not want you to be injured.”

“Zack doesn’t put me in mind of being someone who’d hurt a woman. He’s beating himself up for something, I need to get to the bottom of that.” Callie paused. “Did you see the way he looked at Amethyst? She likes him more than a little that much is obvious.”

“No don’t get me wrong, I agree with you, he would not intentionally hurt anyone but you didn’t see his quarters. If he begins to destroy the gym I want you to leave and I will take care of him agreed?”

Callie opened her mouth to object before seeing the determined look on Shon’s face. “Alright Shon, besides Jon would kill me if he thought I’d put myself at risk.”

“I will however wait outside as he is less likely to talk with me there.” She led the way out and back to Zach’s bedside. “Okay we are agreed, I will wait outside the gym okay?"

Zack looked at her. "If you really feel you must. I doubt me telling one or two makes a diffirence."

“Before you go ...” Amethyst reappeared walking across to Zack’s bedside. “I owe you an apology, my outburst was ... uncalled for.” She looked at Shon. “I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit Doctor.” She looked back at Zack. “You might not want to hear it but I like you Zack, I have since we first met. I just thought you should know.” With that she moved out of the way.

Zack looked at the red head, "It has nothing to do with you. I have had many women saying the same thing, none stuck around." he turned to the doctor. "I will be upset if you punish her."

“Zach I have no intention of punishing anyone for their feelings. All I want to do is get you on the road to feeling better about yourself and get you back to what you do best. Do you want Amethyst to go with you?”

"I tell you what. Join me in working out, good for the body." maybe he should simply leave the deeper relationship part hunting and all the feelings that was attached be for now, maybe that was better to have a solid foundation.

Shon smiled “you mean you want Callie to work out with you whilst she asks you questions?”

"Wouldn't hurt. You all can join if you want." he shrugged.

Shon smiled, “No I think this is The Counsellors bash so it is her decision.” She made up her mind. “Okay Ensign go get your workout stuff and meet us at the gym, shall we say 20 minutes? Oh and your quarters are now next door to your old ones which are being repaired.”

"Sure." he shrugged.

“Callie are you okay with that?”

Callie nodded. “That’s fine with me, though I think I’ll pass on the physical exertion part.” She smiled. “I’ll see you there in 20 minutes.” With that she headed to her office to grab a PADD for notes and to make sure her schedule would be free for the time Zack would need.

~ 20 mins later ~

Shon was at the gym after seeing Seth for a few minutes. She had come equipped with a sedative hypo and a phaser on stun. She was pretty sure she would not be using either but she was very concerned for her friends. Zach’s mental health was very close to her. If the counseling did not help she had decided to have a conversation regarding surgery with him. The scarring she had seen on his brain might be having an effect on his emotional state. She looked at the equipment and wondered when she would get the chance to use it, she was very tired and was not sleeping again, and, after the last two intense missions, the whole crew could do with some R and R if the increase in visits for stress and lack of sleep had anything to do with it.

Amethyst and Callie arrived together having met on their way from the Counselling office & Sickbay. “Hi Shon” Callie offered a smile. “You look tired, I suggest you go get some rest after this.”

“Oh, I’m fine Callie, just as tired as everyone is. I’m not sleeping again, and I can’t blame Seth for that.” She smiled. “Where is he?” She whispered under her breath. “I would hate to have to go looking for him.”

“He’ll be here” Callie gazed towards Amethyst. “There’s someone here he wants to get to know but is afraid to let himself do so.” She looked back at Shon. “I sound like a matchmaker don’t I?”

Zack had spent twenty minutes running through the corridors, easier to run there than in the gym. He eventually ran through the doors to the gym, he was nicely warmed up and a light sheen of sweat covered his body. He said nothing to the ladies as he took a long draft of water. He was sure they would initiate conversation.

Shon breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Zack enter the gym. If all went well she could sign him back to duty. She stood in the background waiting for Callie to initiate her session.

Callie offered Zack a smile. “Did the run help to clear your head a little Zack?”

"A bit." Zack responded, calmly he walked over to the wooden doll, he calmly started the Kata.

Callie nodded. “That’s good, so are you ready to talk to us now? I believe there’s a certain someone here who’d very much like to get to know you better.” She motioned to Amethyst.

Amethyst was keeping her distance still feeling bad about her outburst in Sickbay. She gave Callie an embarrassed look.

"Ask away Doc," Zack said, still working on his routine. He liked Amethyst, but he had also been fooled by women who said they would be there for him as well. His entire life had been feeling hopeful and then crushed again.

Shon looked up from her PaDD. “I wasn’t going to ask you any questions, you’ve got enough going on with Callie and Amethyst.”

He smiled slightly. "I believe the lieutenant is also a Doctor right?"

“Well I’m not normally referred to as doctor” Callie offered a smile. “So tell me what it is that upsets you Zack.”

"General situation. Never really connected with my foster families, then each romantic involvement works well for a while, but then they leave because I have a hard time opening up. This includes friends as well. So as happy as I am for Doctor Doctor, it gaslight my own inadequacy and loneliness." Zack responded.

Amethyst hung her head as she heard what Zack had said about women leaving him, she was starting to understand why he kept his distance from her.

Callie nodded. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you, but don’t let bad experiences with some women put you off getting to know someone new. You might just find having someone to confide in, and who will support you will help you to move on.”

"I have heard it all before; I don't care how long it takes; I love you even with your flaws; I am not like the others," Zack said, paraphrasing all the old friends and girlfriends. "The longest anyone has ever stuck around was two months. How can I trust anyone who doesn't show me that they are truly willing to stick around, handle all my 'mood swings' for more than a few months." he quickly turned to Amethyst. "Don't take it the wrong way, you are exceptionally beautiful and a wonderful woman from what I have experienced so far. But as I said, I have met those who are the same before."

Shon continued to lean on the wall pretending to work on her scheduling problems but listening to what Zach was saying. In truth although she could not be with him romantically, no that moment had come and gone she wanted more than anything to be his friend thought everything he was going through. She knew she was strong enough to support him but now with Amethyst in the mix, well, that made things more unstable. She knew she would have to talk to him about the scarring she had found on his brain that might be some, or all of the cause for what he was going through, but now was not the time. She looked up.

Callie looked towards Amethyst motioning for her to come closer and join the conversation. “Amethyst do you have anything to add to what Zach just said?”

Amethyst moved closer standing alongside Callie. “I don’t want to rush you into anything Zach, but I would like the opportunity to get to know you better. I know you’ve heard it all before, but I haven’t given up on you, all I ask is you give me a chance and not compare me to women you’ve met before.”

"I would only do that if you give up on me."

Amethyst nodded. “If I’d given up on you I wouldn’t be here now.”

Callie looked at Zach. “How does that make you feel Zach? Does it help? Make you feel more nervous?”

"I have heard that before, we even haven't known each other very long either. I have to be guarded because I can't take much more huts against my hope." Zack was done with the wooden dummy, he headed over to the weights.

“I don’t think Amethyst is looking to jump straight into something serious just yet” Callie offered a smile. “It appears to me that she simply wants to get to know you better.”

Zack turned to Callie, his face as if made of stone. But there was a very tiny spark in his eyes. A fragile one that he had guarded for many years, a spark that had been beaten and tormented for as long as he had memories. It was the line that connected his past to his present and even to his future. It had a name that often was associated with hardships, but it was far more than that. It was the flickering light in a dark tunnel to show the path. It was hope.

Callie smiled as she saw a glimmer of hope that hadn’t been there before. “Shon why don’t you and I head back to Sickbay?” She walked across to Travis motioning her friend towards the doors. It was time to leave Zack and Amethyst to talk on their own.

Shon looked up from her PaDD, “sounds good Callie but if Zach becomes violent again he goes straight back to sickbay. They walked out together.